look no pants
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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