Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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