I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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