I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize