Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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