Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just had sex on a roof
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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