Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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  (502): I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control http://tfl.nu/izk5
  Replies (46) Good night (699) Bad night (8249) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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  (415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc
  Replies (15) Good night (624) Bad night (2036) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.

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  (952): he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting. http://tfl.nu/x0uv
  Replies (5) Good night (4906) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit

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  (803): Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit http://tfl.nu/192j
  Replies (27) Good night (4867) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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  (913): he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying. http://tfl.nu/sfs9
  Replies (18) Good night (1512) Bad night (4193) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home

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  (574): 2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home http://tfl.nu/gyyq
  Replies (13) Good night (5193) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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  (763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7
  Replies (9) Good night (3263) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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  (404): Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right? http://tfl.nu/zhkv
  Replies (7) Good night (2635) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.

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  (509): There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/0uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (852) Bad night (1917) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes

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  (410): I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes http://tfl.nu/6kum
  Replies (3) Good night (1605) Bad night (533)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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  (806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1
  Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult

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  (303): doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult http://tfl.nu/oh0e
  Replies (1) Good night (1421) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...

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  (661): I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel... http://tfl.nu/my6g
  Replies (4) Good night (806) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

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  (250): Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom. http://tfl.nu/94fe
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.

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  (508): I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/zrup
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt

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