well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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