if only i could text you this smell
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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