i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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