well most of my day revolves around power hour
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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