I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize