i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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