it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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