But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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