physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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