I need help removing her.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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