Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize