if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize