i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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