the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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