When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I deserve this hangover.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize