I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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