I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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