so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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