So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize