...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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