Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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