The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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