He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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