Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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