so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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