We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize