Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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