you guys were way drunker than both of me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
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I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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