Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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