dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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