You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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