...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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