Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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