No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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