I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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