Porn is love you can see.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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