His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She's the barista slut.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize