how can u be prego again
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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