he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize