i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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