Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize