thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize