yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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